51st Century Breakdown
by JinxedEuphoria
Summary: Nothing can go wrong when the Doctor decides to take River to the 19th century for her birthday...yeah right! The TARDIS does her own thing again, there are ghosts in the machine and the Doctor meets a descendent of an old friend.
1. Chapter 1

A cool, early morning breeze carried sweet notes of jasmine and rose through the open cottage window, and gently across the sleeping faces of Quinn Tyler and his soon-to-be bride, Sybil Walsh. Birds chirped happily in the trees outside, bees buzzed and butterflies fluttered, as the sun began to rise and give colour to the pale blue sky.

With a yawn, Quinn opened his eyes, stretched his arms above his head and lay still for a while, inhaling the new day and thinking of all the wonderful things he would do with it. He smiled to himself and whispered, "Today is going to be perfect."

"And why is that, my love?"

Sybil rolled over with a yawn and lay her arm across Quinn's bare chest.

"Well, firstly," he began, "I woke up next to you,"

He put his arm around his lover's shoulder, pulled her closer and planted a kiss on the top of her head, which earned a giggle.

"Secondly, it can't be long past six yet, but already the day looks beautiful," he continued.

"And thirdly?" Sybil asked with a smile.

She knew the answer, of course, how could she not? But hearing the words from Quinn always made it seem all the more real to her and as if the event had been woven into the fabric of time, existing from the beginning of everything, right up to the very end, waiting for the rest of the universe to catch up. Besides, that deep, raspy voice of his, so confident and unfaltering, was enough to make anyone believe anything that came out of his mouth! Not to mention, his name.

"Thirdly, I shall finally make you my wife."

Sybil scoffed, "Finally? You make it sound like courting for four years has been a hardship for you!"

"Well, who says it hasn't? Your parents are an absolute _nightmare_, for starters."

There was a second of silence before Sybil snorted and they both erupted into uncontrollable laughter.

You see, Sybil and Quinn had known each other their whole lives and, when they were ten years old, had decided they would be married one day. They went through their adolescence without any doubt that this union was imminent and that it would remain faithful…despite the fact that nearly one hundred percent of the adult population surrounding them had been married and divorced, on average, nine times, and about four of those marriages were either same-sex, 'group arrangements', or included an android or some other non-human life form.

So, with the odds positively stacked against them, the childhood sweethearts knew they had to get all that 'free love' out of their systems as quickly as possible, so they wouldn't have any urges or sudden bouts of curiosity when they eventually started dating. It was exhausting, and often very confusing, but they did it. And now, they had eyes and hearts and hands only for each other, and enjoyed mocking their ancestors' 'horrible in-laws' and 'no sex before marriage' predicaments, which were completely absurd in their society.

"I feel so sorry for them," Sybil managed to choke out while wiping tears from her eyes, "it must've been terribly boring."

"Hmm," Quinn agreed, still chuckling, and pushed himself up to lean against the wrought iron bed head.

Sybil, too, sat up and swung her right leg over Quinn so she was straddling him, and placed her hands lovingly on either side of his handsome face. Quinn held her waist as she leaned in and rested her forehead against his.

"I don't think, in all the time I've known you, that I have ever been bored."

Quinn smirked, "Likewise."

Both their young hearts skipped a beat as Sybil tilted Quinn's head up to look directly into his bright, blue eyes, and he brushed a lock of chocolate brown hair out of her face and behind her left ear. They smiled and leaned in for a kiss, but before they could close the gap between their lips, a sudden gust of wind howled through the bedroom, upsetting their hair, papers, a bunch of flowers, and the white sheets wrapped around their bodies. Accompanying the gale was a strained, mechanical whooshing sound.

Sybil and Quinn squinted against the wind and listened. They knew that sound, or at least knew _of_ it, but had never heard it for themselves until now.

They watched in amazement and excitement as a vintage blue police box materialised at the right of their bed.

"He's here," Quinn announced, "About time, too."

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><p><strong><em>AN: _**_If you have the theme tune, now would be the perfect time to play it as I imagine, if this was an actual episode, this would be the opening scene...oh, I wish this fanfic were a real episode! XD_

_Anywho, please let me know what you think so far! Oh, and a '50 points to Gryffindor!' for whoever knows what song inspired the title ;)_


	2. Chapter 2

"River, you dressed yet?"

The Doctor whizzed around the TARDIS console, pulling levers, punching buttons and flipping all manner of colourful switches.

Today, he was taking River to visit Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in nineteenth century Scotland. It was a birthday present and one that, he hoped, wouldn't disappoint…or go wrong. The Doctor had successfully persuaded Amy and Rory, more so Amy, to allow him to take their daughter on a special birthday adventure. Even though River usually did whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, anyway.

_Under one condition, _Amy had said, _you bring her back in time for dinner. _

_Or what?, _he had asked rather cheekily.

_Or I'll kill you. No, maybe I'll just slap you…then I'll kill you._

With Amy's warning in the forefront of his mind, the Doctor wanted to make sure that everything went smoothly. No landing on some planet in another galaxy, no turning up in the Cretaceous and almost getting eaten by a Tyrannosaurus. Absolutely _nothing_ could go wrong today.

"Though, I'd rather face a T-Rex than River's mother any day," the Doctor muttered to himself, observing the TARDIS display.

"River!" he shouted again.

"If you keep rushing me, I'll never be dressed!"

River's growl echoed down the corridor, and made the Doctor smirk.

She added in a sing-song manner, "Get your mind out of the gutter, sweetie!"

The Doctor blushed slightly, and cleared his throat while straightening his bowtie.

"And take the handbrake off, it's driving me insane!"

The Doctor rolled his eyes and continued prodding various parts of the console, "You're not driving, _I'm_ driving so shut up, get dressed and let me drive!"

River scoffed in disgust at his remark, as she stood in front of the full-length mirror admiring her finished outfit.

_Ah, finally,_ she smiled to herself, _but it's not MY fault it took so damn long!_

The deep scarlet muslin dress, of course, had been at the very back and all the way at the top of the enormous TARDIS wardrobe, so took at least three hours for River to find. On top of that, it took a few tries before she worked out the best way to pin up her unruly blonde curls since they rarely co-operated. Then there were shoes to hunt for, make-up to be applied, matching hat, jewellery; a girl has got to accessorise!

In the end, she ditched the hat and jewellery, save for a shiny silver locket she found in a coat pocket, and went 'simple and natural' with the make-up. The shoes were the most frustrating though, because one was with the rest of the shoes, as expected, but the other half of the pair was in a chest full of scarves at the opposite end of the wardrobe. What the hell it was doing there was beyond River.

"So, how do I look?" River stood at the entrance of the console room with both hands on her hips, "Victorian enough?"

The Doctor spun the orange velvet chair on the other side of the room lazily around to face her, his head lolling to one side. It was obvious he had dozed off while waiting, but as soon as he saw River he jumped out of the chair and made his way over to her.

"Yes, yes, very Victorian!" he placed his hands on her shoulders and smiled tenderly, "You look beautiful."

"Aw, thank you, sweetie,"

"And…happy birthday, River."

The Doctor leaned down and gave her a long, passionate kiss which she gladly accepted and returned.

"But-" he began when they moved apart.

"But?"

"I don't think those shoes go with that dress."

"Oh, piss off!"

River playfully pushed his shoulder before pulling him back for another kiss.

"By the way," she whispered, "you need to get rid of that chair."

"No!" the Doctor protested, looking hurt, "That's my spinney chair and spinney chairs are cool!"

River raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, "'Spinney chair'? You gave it a name?"

"Of course! It's cool!"

River continued to scowl at him, and if a pin were to have dropped at that precise moment, the whole universe would've heard it.

"Right, okay. You're dressed, I'm dressed," the Doctor bounded to the console, "Let's land!"

"What, we haven't landed yet?" River frowned in confusion.

"Nope. Been floating around a quiet, little corner of space waiting for you to be ready," he explained, pushing seemingly random buttons, "and I didn't want the TARDIS attracting unwanted attention if she, for some reason, and with nothing to do with me or my driving at all, had decided to take us to a completely wrong destination, which seems to happen a lot, but hopefully…not today."

The Doctor pulled a lever and the TARDIS lurched violently. The force almost threw River to the floor but she grabbed hold of the railing just in time.

"Take the damn handbrake off!" she shouted over the awful grating of the engines.

The Doctor fell into his spinney chair and pointed to his ears, with a huge grin on his face, "Sorry, can't hear you! Handbrake's on!"

River rolled her eyes, _Unbelievable!_

Then, with a painful jolt, the TARDIS stopped dead.

"Oof!"

River lost her grip on the railing and landed flat on her back, cursing under her breath as she did so. The Doctor, meanwhile, had shot out of his chair the second the engines fell silent and skipped enthusiastically down the stairs towards the door.

"Come on, River," he called over his shoulder as the door squeaked open, and he rushed out, "you don't wanna miss-"

The Doctor's eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat.

There, standing right in front of him, was a young man and a young woman, joined at the hip by nothing more than a bed sheet. The woman held it behind her back with her right hand, pulling it snugly around her body, and holding it against her chest with the palm of her other hand, while her long brown curls bounced around her shoulders. The man loosely held the rest of the sheet low around his hips and ran his free hand through his dark wavy hair.

Apart from their lack of proper clothing, the Doctor couldn't help but notice the wide grins directed at him, and the cheekiness sparkling in two sets of piercing, cat-like eyes; one blue and the other green.

"Whoa!" the Doctor spun on his heel back towards the TARDIS and, embarrassed, covered his eyes with his hand, "Man, woman, a bed in a bedroom. Semi-naked, maybe fully naked. In a sheet!"

"You're right," River stepped out of the TARDIS, brushing a loose curl out of her face and smoothed her dress, "I don't want to miss that at all."

She smirked and winked at him, clearly amused.

"It's two sheets actually, Doctor," the man declared.

Despite himself, the Doctor turned back in confusion. _He knows me? But how? I don't know him. Oh, that's never a good sign._

"How do you know who I am?" he frowned.

The man raised one eyebrow and, with an all-too-familiar phrase, replied, "Spoilers."

The woman giggled in response, and greeted the Doctor with a wiggle of her fingers, still holding the sheet against her chest. The Doctor didn't know what to do.

River now turned her attention to the two lovers and, smiling, slowly shook her head and waltzed over to them. It had been only two years since their last meeting, but felt to River more like triple that.

"Oh, Quinn Tyler," she chuckled, embracing him, "I taught you well!"

"River Song. Indeed, you did," Quinn replied and kissed her on the cheek.

"And Sybil! Dear Sybil, my love," River let go of Quinn and threw her arms around Sybil, squeezing her in a motherly sort of way, "you've grown so much! And, I must say, those sheets are _sexy_."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: **There are 100+ more words originally at the end of this chapter but I decided to push those forward to the next one, mainly because I didn't want this one to be TOO long and because I think it ends on enough of a cliffhanger (sort of, if you could call it that!) and with enough intrigue to lead into the next chapter :)_

_So, anywho, what did you think? :D Also, thank you for all the faves and reviews, I love when I know people are reading my stuff and actually liking it! XD_

_And if you're wondering whether my choice of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle for the 'famous figure' the Doctor and River were going to visit was made for any particular reason...you would be absolutely right ;) Trust me, there's gonna be all sorts of references from all over the place in this story!_


End file.
